Hi. I’m not a nice guy.
Now, don’t be scared — I’m not a villain trying to convince you about my life understanding. I’m just aggressively straightforward and allergic to sugar-coating. Honestly, being a bad guy is so liberating. Try it sometime: say what you mean, mean what you say, and watch people panic like you just spoke English in Buenos Aires.
I’m selfish, not in the “I-won’t-tip-the-waitress” way. I’ll buy you drinks, give you my shirt and maybe my Netflix password. I’m just not emotionally invested in your drama. My selfishness is laser-focused on one thing: self-realization. That’s right, I’m on a solo spiritual mission and you're not on the guest list.
Oh, and I’m an existential nihilist, which is just a fancy way of saying I’ve read too much so now nothing impresses me. Optimism? Cute. Pessimism? Too retro. So I ended up here as a realist. Life’s not about seeing the glass half-full or half-empty, it’s about how much trusty you are. That is another way of wondering if that glass even exists although seeing that someone drinks it in front of you.
Marriage update
I’m 8 months into living with my wife. We’ve been married since January last year, but officially sharing 550 square footage since August. Marriage, like IKEA furniture, comes with both benefits and confusing instructions. I love her, but sometimes I miss the sound of silence...
Life lesson? There’s nothing to be happy or sad about. Life’s just doing its thing while we pretend it’s a movie. It’s not. It’s more like a dream — existential, awkward, incomprehensible, bitter-sweat and somehow hilarious.
About the future (or lack thereof):
I’m not doing anything to become a millionaire, I have no stock options, and I have no wish to open a juice bar in Bali, or find myself on a soul-searching trek in Peru. My big plans include quietness, yoga, and staring into my mind until it stares back — with emptiness and love.
I’ve already done the travel thing — 2022 and 2023 I traveled on steroids: Serbia 3 times, Italy, Mexico, Spain, Maldives, Malta, Netherlands, Dominican Republic, and more. 2024? Chilled in Cuba and Punta Cana. This year... just returned from Buenos Aires, it was a fun trip, but 14 hours in economy class is a war crime.
Future goals? Get really good at doing absolutely nothing... intentionally.
Yoga, my daily struggle
I’ve been doing Ashtanga yoga since 2006. Still struggling. Still sweating. Still cursing under my breath during half primary. It’s not fun. It’s not sexy. It’s a grind. In fact, Ashtanga Yoga is so hard it feels like it was invented by someone who thought “you know what would be fun? Physical suffering, but with breath control!”
It’s not about flexibility or cool poses. It’s about surrendering. Like, daily. It’s basically a moving meditation where you find peace by first breaking your spirit just a little.
Why I write this?
I’m not here to “wake people up.” I’m not Neo from The Matrix. I’m just blogging to keep my own head clear, like someone yelling into a void.
If you’re taking life too seriously, you’re missing the cosmic joke. We’re all just fancy apes with Wi-Fi, inventing problems and chasing Pokémon. You don’t need a mansion, a six-pack, or a TED Talk. You need a sandwich, a nap, and maybe two friends who don’t suck.
There is no Big "Truth". Everything is fake: your job, your dreams, your Instagram persona, even that deep quote you posted last night. We’re living a lie, made of social conditioning and flavored truths. You were told to dream big and work hard. Instead, maybe try dreaming less and breathing more.
So why do I write? Because this is cheaper than therapy.
That’s it. No moral, no sales pitch, no inspirational quote at the end. Unless you count this - We live life because we don’t know what else to do. So we might as well laugh at the absurdity of it all.
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