If you could live life again

With my friend Pura on a hot and humid Saturday evening in Toronto

I've heard people say - if they could live life again knowing what they know now, things would be much different. They probably think, their life would be better. 😏

If there is such possibility to live life again, only 2 of 10 people will not change anything at all. They are, at this very moment, the sum of all their experiences, good and bad. To change the past would be to alter their current situation, therefore altering who they are... so they don't want that.

The 8 of 10 people will change their life if they knew what they are knowing now. The list of their life changes is endless but mostly predictable - like marriages, schools, grades, jobs...

What do they really know now?

My mother died in the palliative care in January 2015. I was with her a month earlier and I spend considerable time in that hospital department. The palliative care is the place for dying... I read an article about the last words of the last thoughts of patients there.

Those patients in their last days has revealed the most common regrets they have at the end of their lives and they come in this order:

I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
I wish I had let myself be happier.

Growing up old does not mean growing up by understanding

The truth is simple: people are not taking any responsibility of life they are having.

It is easy to teach this altered notion of individual immortality to beings who do not want to be responsible for their own lives. Slaves are such beings. As long as one chooses to assign responsibility for creation, existence and personal accountability for one's own thoughts and actions to others, one is a slave.

~ Alien Interview, Matilda O'Donnell MacElroy, written by Lawrence R. Spencer

People live with the mistaken identity. They create their own reality, but they lack the energy to understand that. They are too busy thinking how wonderful they are, how sensitive, how unique.

What is "unique" in people when fear posses them to such an extent that they play with their mood, wishes and desires? People are not "special", they are rather uninteresting example of automated machines.

From the background of mind they select separate thoughts with attempt to connect them into a whole and pass them off as a valuable and as their own.

They speak about everything imaginable, judge, discuss, define, evaluate but they omit to speak about their real self, about who they really are, about their real value, for they are convinced that if there is anything lacking in them, they can acquire it.

I remember, I sat by my mother’s bedside as she lay dying of liver cancer. It was a late day in the end of November 2014. The rain was knocking into the hospital window. She was restless and agitated, frustrated by being confined to the bed. I asked her if she wanted to get up and she nodded but she was incapable to do so even with my help.

We sat in silence, side by side, for a few moments and then I began to ask her questions, just to fill the silence. “Are you hungry?” No answer. “Are you cold?" No answer. “What are you thinking about?”, she answered me - "Nothing. I don't think about anything." Quietness.

In that moment I realized, she, as a person, never existed. There is no such thing as a person. There are only hopes and regrets. The sum total of these two defines the person. It is all imagination, the person merely appears to be but it has no existence.

All these regrets of those palliative care patients, those dying people are lies. Not taking any responsibility for their own life they lived as slaves and they died as such.

Real never dies, the unreal never lived

The personality comes by identifying the present moment with the past and projecting it into the future.

Without past and future personality dissolves. What remains is simple being (existence). Staying there means taking responsibility for life - find out who you are!

Cease imagining yourself to be "unique", "special", "particular". Personality is an imagination, it comes and goes and what comes and goes has no being (existence). Get rid of wrong ideas, that's all.

Fuck the right ideas, that will take you nowhere. Just stop imagination. Don't try to understand! Understand what? Enough if you do not misunderstand.

Don't rely on your personality for awakening. It is the personality that brought you into slavery of hopes and regrets. Go beyond all that.